I had a conversation with someone recently who said “life just keeps getting better” as we get older. That really made me begin to ponder my life and where I thought I would be at this point.
When we graduate high school, we have all of these dreams and ideas in our head of what we will be and how we will achieve our goal. Some of us have a good idea what we want to be when we grow up and start to major in something that will allow us to get there, while some of us have no idea and think we will just figure it out on the ride. For both types of people, it is never really that easy. Life just doesn’t ever turn out exactly like you think it will. For me, I thought I would go to college, make straight A’s, have my pick of medical schools and be one of the best doctors in my field. I had no idea how difficult that would be and that it was not what God had planned for me. I discovered it just a few months into my college career, and while my family may have thought it was laziness, I just didn’t have the desire in my heart to pursue medicine. I loved science, and stayed with my Pre-med Zoology major just waiting to see what would happen. That is when I met George, who became my major professor in grad school, which ultimately led me to teaching, which is where my heart and my talents lie. I get so disgusted with my job some days, but I realize how blessed I am to work with the children and people that I do.
During my practice teaching, I had a wonderful mentor teacher, Mr. Scott. He helped me learn SO many things about being an educator and gave me confidence that I could handle a classroom on my own and do it well. Turns out he had George as a teacher at Auburn as well.
During all of my college years (all 7 including grad school), my personal life spent a large chunk of time in turmoil. My boyfriend during the last few years of college was not a positive influence on my life, and yet somehow I managed to ignore that and think that if I just held on to that relationship a little longer things would change. They didn’t, and no matter what I did or what advice I got from my dearest and truest of friends, I hung on to that part of my life so tightly, and it wasn’t until I met my good friend Corrie that I learned I could let it go. When I did, I was a new person. I felt lighter than air, ready for any new challenge that may come my way. About a month after that, I met Hays. I thought Hays was too good to be true. It is amazing what the power of prayer will do, and how your previous life experiences can make you so appreciative of what you have. I was amazed that Hays actually called when he SAID he would, and that his actions actually matched his words. I love the book “The Last Lecture,” by Randy Pausch, and one part that I remember is when he talks about advice he would give to his daughter about dating. He says that when it comes to boys, ignore everything they SAY and only pay attention to what they DO. Hays is one of the greatest examples of this that I think I could ever find. He and I will both give that advice to Margaret Anne some day. I can honestly say that I look at Hays through totally different eyes since she was born. In the hospital, he rarely left my side, only leaving the room to get coffee or find some food. He was my strength during her delivery, and I was comforted by the fact that he was there and he was so supportive and reassuring. And let’s not even forget that he watched the WHOLE surgery from the time she was born until I was all closed up and he still loves me even more today!
When I was in college and I thought about where I would be when I am 30, I always thought that I would be married and have kids. It is funny though, that looking back I had no idea what that actually MEANT. When I found out I was pregnant, I have to admit that I did not think that I was ready to be a mother. Hays and I were both terrified, but excited. The pregnancy was wonderful. Yes I had some sickness, yes I gained too much weight, my blood pressure went up at the end and I had a C-section instead of a perfect delivery, but I had my beautiful baby girl in my arms. If I had known what I was carrying inside me during that 9 months, I never would have complained. Not once. I would have cried when she was born instead of just being completely overwhelmed. It takes a little while for some of us to realize how beautiful and special that little creature is. The first time she smiled at me, I thought my heart would explode. Every day while I am at work, I cannot wait to get to that little girl, and smell her stinky clothes and kiss her sweet little head. When we get home we have our own little routine, she plays while I change and straighten the house, then she has her dinner, bath, more playtime, a bottle, and then bed. Every morning she wakes up babbling, and I love to get up with her and feed her that first bottle, smell her head and think about how bad I am going to miss her during the day. Weekends are sacred, and any time I have to spend away from her feels like it is stolen from me. However, I do cherish and time that I get to be completely by myself, and sometimes my sweet husband even lets me sleep in for a few extra hours so he can have some of the alone time with her that he misses during the week.
I say all of this because when I look back to when I was a little younger and a lot more naïve, I thought that I would need to have an “exciting” life to feel fulfilled and happy. My life is definitely not exciting to those who are on the outside, but I cherish it. I love going home to my sweet, not very well decorated, small little townhome, and just being near my husband and my daughter every day. I know I am blessed, and that it is by God’s grace that I have what I have. Life does get better as we get older. To all of you who think that your life is boring, as I find myself doing sometimes, just remember that this is your earthly life and you are living it, right now, in the present. It is short, and even if my life is never more “exciting” than it is today, I will always be a happy woman, because to me the ordinary is extraordinary!
