It's been a year...

Since he (http://meredithmlatimer.blogspot.com/2007/12/great-loss.html) passed away, I still find myself missing him and thinking of him quite often. Sometimes memories hit me hard, like I am running and just hit a wall. Most often I remember him when I am riding in the passenger seat of the car, because that was when I spent the majority of my time with him, going out into the field. When we took our trip into the Southern Appalachians, I was the "master navigator," so while everyone else was able to change seats every few days in the van (he made sure we had assigned seats so that we would get to know the other people on the trip and spend time with them), I was permanently in the front passenger seat. Little did I know that reading the map while riding would make me carsick, or that his smoking cigarettes out of the car would exacerbate the car sickness. I remember once when we stopped at a gas station to pick up our "dinner," George bought a plastic wrapped cheeseburger and put it on the dashboard, still in its brown paper bag. He didn't eat it for dinner that night, but brought it out of the bag and ate it two days later, as I cringed and gagged and watched in amazement. He knew he wouldn't get sick, or maybe he was just eating it to show me I shouldn't worry so much. I remember this time last year when I found out about his passing, and I cried and cried all day. I had just found out I was pregnant, and I was so looking forward to telling him about it. I cried so hard that day that I could barely see that night, my contacts were so dry and my eyelids were so swollen. Hays came home and found me sitting in the closet, surrounded by pictures, and he sat there and held me while I remembered him and told stories.

Every time we drive into Auburn I think of him. When I would go back there before he died, I would always be excited that maybe we would go to Buffalo's and meet up with George, and now I find myself having that thought and then realizing that it can never be again.

The last time I saw him, he met Hays and me at Buffalo's and insisted on buying us drinks, and we sat and talked for a while until he let it slip into the conversation that Molly, his daughter, was having her 18th birthday party at their house as we spoke. I immediately felt guilty and special at the same time because he missed some of her party to go to Buffalo's and meet up with one of his former students. We didn't stay long, but I will always remember that last visit. He looked so good, so healthy, and was ready to take me back into the field the following spring to "renew my spirit." Oh, how it would have, and what I would give to be able to go out into the field with him just one more time and absorb some of his knowledge and philosophies on life. I will always miss him, and I will always think about him. I will always have what he gave me, which is a level of knowledge and experience and a way of thinking about things that always leaves room open for more and better explanations. My thoughts and prayers are with his family at this time of year, because I know that it has to be a difficult time for them. I am so thankful that they shared him with us, and I am grateful to God for making sure someone like that was in my life.