Minneapolis and Back!

I just took my first trip to Minneapolis, and I have to say it seems like a pretty cool place, that is if you aren't looking at it through a conference window! My company had a 3-day training session up there, so I began my journey at 4:15 on Wednesday morning when my alarm went off. My morning didn't exactly get started off right, because when I was standing in line to put all my stuff in the grey boxes (you know, to run it through the x-ray), there was an opening at the front of the table where I could load up my stuff, so I proceeded to do so. In my tired state, I guess I was unaware that I "cut in line", because I sensed eyes burning into the back of my head. I turned around and saw one of the most hideous old men in this galaxy scowling at me, and proceeded to smile and say "How are you?". He stared at me (scowl continued) and said with every bone of seriousness in his body, "I was fine until you jumped in front of me!". For some reason, my triggered response was "WELL, EXCUUUUSSE ME!!". Then I moved my stuff and let him by, ignoring the other people I broke in front of.

Moral of the Story: At 5:15 in the morning, there is no such thing as "airport etiquette.

I had a layover in Memphis, and because of the storm system that was passing through that morning, I sat quietly in my airplane seat on both flights choking back the urge to puke due to the turbulence. Turbulence + mild claustrophobia= unpleasant trip. When we arrived in Minneapolis, needless to say, I was relieved. I will spare the boring details of the conference, but we did take a stretch limo to the Mall of America, which was slightly less grandiose than I expected. It is really just a big mall with a small amusement park in the atrium. I think I covered every square foot of the mall, and I noticed quite a few stores that had 3 to 4 locations IN THE SAME MALL. There were 2 GameStop stores and 4 Lids stores (hat store). I thought that was a nice tribute to our lazy society. We ate at Rainforest Cafe, which was fun if you enjoy eating with fake gorillas staring at you. The only other 2 notable events were as follows: at the dinner Thursday night, we were treated to some "surprise entertainment", which turned out to be a Hawaiian, ex-NFL defensive tackle named Ezra something singing karaoke for about 30 minutes. This quite possibly may have been one of the more bizarre experiences of my existence. Initially, I was thinking, "oh, this guy must be a really good singer!". Boy, was I wrong. His opener was Alicia Keys' "No One", and I have to say that "No One" else, especially male, should ever be allowed to sing that song. He then sang some Carpenters song and James Blunt's "You're Beautiful". Soon after that I think I blacked out and began bleeding out of my ears. Fortunately, the entertainment didn't last long. After the performance, someone told me that they thought he was the player who came out of the closet on 60 Minutes, and I can't say I was surprised by that information. The final highlight was the 4-6 inches of snow we got on Friday. Seeing lots of fresh snow in a big city is really beautiful as long as you can return home to a snowless environment when you please. To summarize, I recommend a weekend trip to Minneapolis when no conferences are involved and you have time to explore. I would also recommend going when it snows, because there doesn't appear to be a reason to be there in the summer!