I have decided to write this post to get a few things off my chest. I thought about doing a list of "Top Ten Offensive Things Said to Pregnant Women," but then I realized that I have probably said many of those things to pregnant friends without even realizing it. I have been subjected to a slew of pretty offensive comments lately, and they have made me take a long hard look at myself and I am going to be A LOT more careful about what I say to people. If I have said something offensive to you in the past, I am SORRY! I will do my best not to let it happen again!
First of all, I want to talk about a baby shower we had for Amanda this past weekend. I thought it was perfect, and if I look even half as good as Amanda does when I am 36 weeks, I will thank my God and all of my lucky stars. She looks phenomenal to have an almost full-grown baby inside of her! Amanda saw so many people and got so many lovely things for Emily that it made me even more excited to get ready for any showers that I may have. I can't wait for little Emily to get here!
Moving back to my subject, it really bothers me that being pregnant gives people who don't know you very well free reign to say inappropriate, often offensive things, such as "How much weight have you gained?" Or "That is going to be a BIG baby (this has been said in many ways, as in "I bet that baby will weigh nine pounds"). My all time favorite comment (said most often by people over 50) is "My, you sure are blossoming!" Don't people understand that how BIG you are getting is not something you want to hear! And poor Hays has to try and reassure me every afternoon when I get home. So does my doctor at each appointment! In case anyone is actually concerned, I just want to let you know that we are both measuring exactly where we are supposed to be for 21 weeks. We had a great doctor's appointment, and it was pretty funny because every time Dr H would try to put the Doppler on her to hear her heartbeat, she would move in another direction and he would have to go find her again.
Now, I know all of these people are trying to be nice and make conversation. However, I have actual friends that know how to do it without hurting my feelings. They say things such as "Aww, you look so cute!" or "you actually look pregnant." Who doesn't like hearing that they look good? Please keep this in mind the next time you see a pregnant woman. Whether you realize it or not, she is going through a lot of changes and could use some encouragement! And please comment if you have any funny comments that people have said to you. I would like to know that I am not the only one!
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5 comments:
I think you are beautiful pregnant!
Thanks, Hubs!
Don't let those things get to you, I'm sure you look precious. If someone says that baby will be nine pounds, then say well Hays' cousin had one that was 8 14 and she is precious ;) AND the nurses guessed she would be around 7 lbs, so you never know!!
Thanks Bre! Bentley sure is precious. I know I shouldne't let it get to me, but it just seems like one after another.
Good post, and so true. I had several offensive comments during both of my pregnancies ~ the one I hated most actually happened in both, because I got "big" so quickly (I was out of my regular-sized waisted pants/skirts by 10 and 8 weeks, respectively). I had a couple of people ask both times, "Are you sure something isn't wrong with your baby? I didn't start showing until much later. You should check with your doctor." But when it came down to it, I gained average weight both times (30 lbs.) and had smaller babies: 5-14 and 6-12. People don't know what they are talking about! :)
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