The Joys of Home Ownership: When Stuff Breaks

Considering we have owned our home since May of last year, I feel fortunate that we have not had any major issues that we couldn't handle. Props to the previous owners for keeping things taken care of in their house! If you read Meredith's blog below, then you already know that our garbage disposer burned out on Monday. It has always amazed me how a machine can go from fully functional to defunct in a spilt second (this includes my old Acura), but I guess that is the nature of the beast. Anyhow, I pose a question to those of you reading: What do you think is the filthiest place in your house. Answer: The part of your garbage disposal you can't see! There is a specific reason why these things are made with opaque materials; no human being should ever be exposed to the substances within! Unless it is part of chemical or biological warfare, and even then its use would be ethically questionable. The whole process began on Monday night when I tried to run the disposal, and all that happened was a buzzing sound. What was the next logical step? I'm so glad you asked! To keep the disposal switch turned on for an inappropriate amount of time. This was followed immediately by the smell of electrical fire and burning plastic. When I looked under the sink, sure enough the disposer was smoking like Clint Eastwood's pistols in (Insert Western Here). So that led me to Lowe's, where I decided to purchase the "In-Sink-Erator Badger 5". The only cooler names I could think of for such an item would be "the Jackal" or "the Abyss". So leaving Lowe's $91 poorer, I was a proud owner of a new garbage disposal. Next next hour is kind of a blur because it involved trying to dismantle the broken disposal, which Lowe's should recommend buying some sort of smell-proof, protective suit before trying. Anyways, I eventually was able to remove the old disposal, and my hands were covered in bacteria-rich food sludge, so naturally I wanted to wash my hands. I proceeded to turn on the sink faucet when I realized that THERE WAS NOTHING TO CATCH THE WATER! So I helplessly watched water puddle into the cabinet under my sink. If Meredith had seen me do this I would have never lived it down. In comes neighbor Jason to save the day and finish the job, and we now have a functional garbage disposal. But back to my original point; if you are not prepared to see the nastiest part of your dwelling, don't attempt to replace your garbage disposal. If you do, have the CDC on speed dial, because you may be the lucky recipient of some identified bacterial infection! All in all, it was a fun job, and I'm glad I did it...